2 Months - September

 I know, I'm so behind, but now that Christmas is over I'm going to try to get updated ;). Marc turned 2 months at the end of September. In September I crazily decided to host a neighborhood barbecue. Besides not having everything totally organized and on time, it went pretty well. But I also decided that hosting a party-type thing is not a plan with a less than 2 month old baby ;). Eric enjoyed having a play date about every week as well. There is another couple in our congregation that have a baby boy (about 2 months older than Marc) as well as a son about a year younger than Eric. They enjoy playing together.

I can be thankful that my emotions were a bit more stable in September than in August, the medication that we tried first worked for the PPD. My emotions can still get the better of me more than I am use to, but at least it is better than it was! 

We had my 6 week checkup and everything was great. We also took Marc in for his 2 month check up and he was still not gaining quite as much weight as they would have liked, so we scheduled one for 3 months. At his 2 Month check-up, Marc was 9 lbs 6 oz and 22 inches long.

Eric really loves his brother and loves to hug, kiss and otherwise show affection to him. He also occasionally would hit Marc as well, but I suppose that is normal, unfortunately. Luckily he mostly wanted to show affection instead of aggression. Sometimes I was worried about Eric smothering Marc with loves!  

2 Month Photos:

 I can never take pictures of Marc without Eric needing to be involved!

1 Month

Marc at 1 Month (you know, back in August). We went into the doctor for a weight check for him around 1 month, and I didn't write down what he weighed, but I'm pretty sure he was at 8 lbs 1 oz.

At two weeks he weighed 7 lbs 7 ounces and was 20.5 inches.

1 week old

My two boys at one week old...

1 week photos

Postpartum Depression

I previously mentioned that I had postpartum depression, but here is a whole post dedicated to it! 

Pretty much the night I got home from the hospital I felt that the baby blues started... Of course being tired and having heart palpitations due to the pain killer could make anybody emotional, BUT it was hard to stop crying. After 2 weeks (the typical time they say baby blues last) of having a rough time emotionally, Daniel suggested I go in to the doctor. So I made the appointment (partially because I was having some pain by my armpits as well - but they were pretty much gone by the appointment.) 

For two days before my appointment I made a list of symptoms I was experiencing: 

* I could cry for any reason or for no reason at all (this is weird for me as I'm not a crier!) Once I started crying it was difficult to stop. I would have a 'crying fit' at least once a day.
*I really didn't care about what I ate, or sometimes even if I ate. This really hit me one day as I could have eaten potato chips all day as the only food I ate. The main problem with this is that I don't really like potato chips! 
*I wouldn't always make sure Eric was getting all he needed to eat/drink or that he even got his diaper changed as much as he should have! (Good thing he could tell me he was hungry/thirsty/needed changed!)
*I would get frustrated at so many things. I would also over-react to little things my sons did that wouldn't normally irritate me. 
*I had a lack of interest in doing pretty much anything that I enjoy. For example, Daniel and I enjoy doing logic puzzles together (we do them online) and he could work on a whole puzzle while I was sitting next to him (usually feeding a baby) and he'd finish it by himself and I never contributed to helping solve it - and I was right next to him!
*Then I had this feeling of a weight on my chest. It literally felt like I had at least 10-20 lbs pressing down on right in the middle of my chest.
*Images in my head of my baby getting hurt. Not a happy thing! 
*Lack of focus (I was more flighty than usual!)

I'm sure there were more things, but these are the ones that I noticed the most!


It is a good thing I promised Daniel to make the appointment... I would have put it off because it was something I honestly didn't want to have to do. It is never easy to admit that you just can't deal with life... So we went to the doctor and I got a prescription for medication. It was funny (at least to us) that the medication the OB likes to try first is the one Daniel had a reaction to - we're talking crazy-dizziness. Luckily I didn't have the same reaction. ;)

I do feel that the medication is working and I can actually function normally. I can still get a little more emotional than normal (crying, anger, frustration) but it is a lot better! 

I still haven't gotten around to posting photos of our little one at 1 week, 1 month and now 2 months... I'll get those up as soon as I can. (Hasn't helped that Daniel is working until 7 pretty much every night and some hours on Saturdays!)

What can happen during your husband's lunchbreak...

So today Daniel came home for lunch, and I left a few minutes after he arrived...

This is what I looked like before I left: 

I know, aren't they great photos... totally flattering (or not!)

One hour later when I returned home so my dear husband could get back to work. Something was different...








This is me, right before Daniel left to go back to work:

And the darkness of the hair compared to the above photos is only due to the flash going off in the above photos and not these...

So can anyone spot a difference? (totally kidding!) 

I have been growing out my hair to donate to Wigs for Kids. They provide wigs for children who have lost their hair due to medical treatments and the like. They are designed to actually stay on while kids are being kids! Currently the hair is in a bag waiting to be sent, but it will go in the mail sooner than later! I can say the last few months have been torture... as I wanted to chop my hair off, but I still wanted it long enough to donate! 

I decided to donate my hair while it was still a bit fuller due to all those wonderful pregnancy hormones... so I made a goal (unspoken) to cut it before my 6 week checkup before it started to thin out again... and I did - my check up is next Wednesday (I made it by 6 days). 

Side by side:

I never wanted my hair this short again (had it shorter when I was 18), but it will grow back ;). Just not as long... I hated taking care of my long hair - it was a pain as it was this gross wavy  - not enough to make it curly, just frizzy looking (the above photo was when I tried to blow dry it straight, air drying is worse!)

I'm sure when I go to wash my hair next time I'll be rinsing it forever as I'll get WAY too much shampoo... on the bright side, once I adjust we'll not have to buy shampoo as often! ;).

When you feel like a liar for saying, "everything's fine"

You know when people ask you how everything is going? Well my natural response is something along the lines of "great" or "everything's fine." Typically I say "great." Today it really hit me (when my Visiting Teachers were here) that I would actually feel like a liar if I said that. Everything, while not horrible, is not fine or great. 

Side note: the reason I answer great is because when I was in college I heard if you answered "great" every time someone asked how you were or how your day is going, that by the end of the day you'd believe you were great or had a great day. True story. I tried it and at the time my roomies would get together every night and say our favorite part of the day and pray before bedtime (love those girls!) One day I remember sitting down and saying, I had such a great day, let me think of my favorite part. As I thought about the day, it actually turned out to be a not so great day. So it works! Just don't reflect on the day at the end ;).

So why isn't everything great? Well, let's start with the fact that the first 3.5 weeks of our little one's life have been eventful! We've been to the doctor every week since he's been born! 

Week 1 - I was having pain in my calf just under my knee, which can be a sign of a blood clot, so the OB said to come in and they'd see me (no appointment, just come when I could get there...) Luckily it was nothing, but what a hassle (as it wasn't the day he was where we live so we had to drive 40 minutes to get there!) So this wasn't such a bad thing, in fact it was a great thing to know I wasn't potentially going to die (blood clots in legs can go to the lungs and actually kill you, I'm not just exaggerating.)

Week 2 - Marc's 2 week check-up. He was 1 ounce short of his birth-weight, but other than that looked good. However the doctor told us to come back in 2 weeks (that is this Friday - the 24th.) Not a horrible visit either...

Week 3 - It became very apparent that the intense baby blues I was experiencing was more than just the baby blues so we went back to the OB (luckily the day he was in the office over here.) You know things aren't normal when the Doctor comes in, asks how you are doing and it's all you can do to keep the flood waters from escaping! I'm now on "happy pills" (for postpartum depression) and just took my 7th one this morning. However since they can take weeks to work, I'm still not doing THAT great and can break down and cry for anything at all (it isn't happening quite as frequently though).

Week 3 again - We took Marc (and me) to urgent care last Friday (17th) as we suspected he had thrush (and had passed it onto me). Well, we were right and we're now being treated for thrush. While it isn't as bad as I thought it would be, giving him medicine 4 times a day is not so fun. 

Week 4 - We will be going into the doctor on Friday to check Marc's weight. We went to the doctor on Thursday and he'd gained 4 ounces since the urgent care visit, so that was good! (he'd only gained 2 ounces the week before...)

All that on top of the fact that Daniel is busy at work and having to work overtime (we're glad he's not salaried and actually gets the extra money!) He's also been busy with boy scouts, and helped clean the church twice. 

Plus the lack of sleep is catching up with me... or did about a week ago.

So if you ask me how I'm doing anytime soon...   You may hear a fine (depending on how well I know you... but not an everything's fine.) Or I may start crying as soon as you ask. But you won't hear that everything is great, because I honestly feel like that would be lying right now. However, it is more in my nature to try to hide the fact I'm struggling and deal with it on my own... I am trying to be better at that!

However, I do feel like I am handling things okay, I have some moments when I wonder if I can handle it, but they go away in a little while and I'm back to doing okay. Sometimes I'm even doing better than okay - I can actually be doing good, just depends on the minute ;).